feeding the dragon

Remember when you were young and anything was possible? When holding two wooden spoons and banging on an old pot made you a rockstar? When a cardboard box became an intergalactic vessel? I do. I was reminded of it as I sat at my desk at work.

The day started slow. Today's assignment? Sit and read the Standard Operating Procedures handbook for our office. Riveting. You'd think the unexpected gift of a greasy bear-claw would have at least spiced things up a bit, but I'm still bored and now my stomach hurts.

As I stared at the computer screen, the cyber ink began to melt into a massive, meaningless black blob. Undecipherable. How could I complete my assigned task when the words wouldn't sit static? My eyes began wandering, searching for the relief of distraction. My hole punch. It's amazing the things you find interest in. It sat there silver and cold and yet seeing it sent a dusty memory to the front of my mind.

In the memory I was sitting on the floor at my mom's work. Papers were scattered around in front of me and I sat holding a silver hole punch in my hand. The memory played on the screens of my mind like a movie. Participating as the viewer, I watched myself sitting, making loud "CHOMP CHOMP" noises followed by grunts of happy satiation. I then realized exactly what my younger self was doing. The hole punch in his hand transformed into a small hungry dragon, its silver snout biting down relentlessly upon layers and layers of paper. Dragons eat paper? Who knew? As the sheets of paper became riddled with the circular bite marks of the dragon, the feeding slowed. The frenzy faded and the dragon stepped slowly away from the paper. My younger self began making pained noises. The kind you hear after everyone steps away from the table at Thanksgiving. The dragon then made one more giant moan, opened his mouth wide and began spewing forth perfectly circular paper bites all over the floor. The dragon stopped and seemed to be feeling a little better when all of a sudden he would be thrown into another fit of paper spew-age. This seemed to amuse little me because I started laughing out loud. After little me composed himself, he picked up the dragon and the feeding frenzy began anew.

The memory faded to black and I was back at my desk wearing a big grin. I looked over at my hole punch and picked it up. I was curious if it was hungry so I found some old paper in my recycle bin (it's San Francisco, my dragon needs to be green) and the modern day feeding frenzy commenced. Hole punch bites flew EVERYWHERE. All over my desk. If you had walked by at that moment you might have thought me Crazy, Mad Hatter status, but what was I to do? I needed to feed my dragon. When I was done, I swept up the mess, sat back down and got back to work.

The memory was a much needed visit to my old self. A nice little reminder to shake off the dust of complacency that so often settles on us when we get stuck in routine. I hope I remember to visit little-me a bit more often. I'll take his hand and we will reminisce. And then he'll remind me to feed my dragon.


New Beginnings

Remember back in college when you had a huge assignment due and you would psych yourself up to get it done? You would make a cup of coffee and set it, steaming, next to your computer. Then you would put your most comfortable clothes on and sit indian style in your desk chair. You would lift your hands to the keyboard and stare at the blinking cursor dance upon an infinitely white canvas. I bet that white canvas slowly stretched itself out, taking over your peripheral sight until it swallowed you whole. Daunting, I remember.

For some reason, I've been experiencing this each time I sit down to write an update. I never wanted writing to feel like a college assignment and so it was easy for me to avoid it. I wasn't receiving a grade anyway. But then I remembered that unlike college homework, I really do enjoy it when I have something to write about. Perhaps I've felt stuck in this rut with nothing really going on. Unemployed. New to the city. Unsettled. But the reality is, I've got a lot going on. Here is the breakdown:

I finally got a job! Though I haven't started working yet. I want to share more, but I need to wait a bit more.

Everyday I fall more and more in love with this city. She continues to surprise me with beautiful hidden treasures.

I have the best apartment with the BEST roommate. Finally feeling somewhat settled is a good thing.

I've rediscovered the bounty of the public library.

I'm slowly getting into biking and loving it. I think I know what my first "big" purchase is going to be once I start making dinero! (a bike. in case you didn't get that)

I have loved meeting new friends and going on lots of adventures.

Finding Senegal in San Francisco has been a blessing. It makes SF feel a little more Home-y. I recently met a Senegalese woman selling her wares on Market st. I spent a whole afternoon sitting with her speaking in Wolof and talking about Senegal. I needed that.

So while I've been feeling like nothing has been going on, the reality is that life is actively whirling around me. Stopping to write about it is not a chore, it's a privilege. I'm sorry I've been absent for so long. I'm sorry I haven't written about the things that I'm experiencing in this strange transition. or the beauty i find in it. I just hope this will be yet another beginning. I love you guys.